Here is great advice for everyone who needs to get control of their love life. Ready? You need to…forgive. That’s right, to have a successful love life after a break up or divorce, you must forgive your ex. Before you protest, read these 7 tips to help you forgive. Forgiveness will not only free you of your ex, but benefit you and your future relationships.
1. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you forget.
When you forgive your ex, you are not saying that whatever wrongs was done to you were acceptable. It does not release your ex from the wrong actions that they committed.
2. Who’s being hurt by you not forgiving?
Is it your ex who’s kept up at night with bitter rage? Is your ex suffering from physical symptoms, like knots in the stomach, because of anger from your breakup? Are they wasting a good life by plotting revenge? I Doubt it, but if you are, you need to forgive so you can get healthy mentally and physically.
3. You don’t need to know “why” before you forgive.
It is unlikely that knowing the reasons for your ex’s behavior will make you feel better or lessen the pain. It is even more unlikely that your ex knows why he or she behaved this way.
4. Write a list of what you need to forgive.
What was done to cause the pain in that past relationship? What do you need in order to forgive (minus an apology from your ex)?
5. What did you do?
No one is perfect in any relationship. As much as we all hate to admit it, both parties contribute to a break-up. Were you honest about the hurt that was caused by your ex? Or did you hide and dismiss it? Did you stay in the bad relationship when you should have left? Admit your part and move on.
6. What did you get from the relationship?
You’re probably focusing on the negatives in the relationship, but what were the positives that made the relationship last as long as it did? Did your relationship leave you with anything (a child, passion for life, career ideas) that you can be thankful for?
7. Write a letter to your ex.
Let your ex know through a letter what was good about the relationship and let them know you forgive them. No need to mail the letter, but this is an excellent chance for you to express your feelings fully.
Now that you’ve taken the step to forgiveness, don’t look back! You’ve freed yourself from the pain that linked you and your ex together by forgiving them. You’re ready to move on from the anger and the bitterness and move to a better, more wonderful life!
